I already know this could happen..

Who knows, love can be such pain and hard. Im talking about love relationship between human, not God, in God love relationship, there is no pain and suffering like human love relationship. I think he is avoiding me for many days now, I would be a liar if i didnt miss him, yes I do miss him a lot. I couldnt not longer bear this pain anymore, I dont want to get hurt or anything, I just want to be free from this entrapment of love. Maybe, or just maybe, I can deactivate my hotmail account and with that, I can free myself from this forbidden love. I should known better and as i thought to myself, I already guessing that after I send my recent pic, he might be not interested in my anymore and I think my test show he really not interested in me anymore. So much for true love.

I meet someone...

I meet someone on the internet a few days ago. He's kinda cute and handsome, 25, a Maxican and African, from South Africa, yes I know, pretty far from Malaysia right? but someone say to me that love doesn't care about distance, as long as we love each other. I ask myself, do I love him base on looks or emotion, he only post one pic on his profile, but with that one pic, can say thousand things.
For me, this is the first time, a guys looks at my pic, a real pic of mine, told me that Im sexy, handsome and you name it. That is the first time a guy say it to me, not even my ex. Do I love him? Honestly I dont know, maybe I'm just afraid that things would turn bad in the future and maybe one of use will get hurt in the future... I want to love him, but I'm really sceptical about this internet relationship. I dont know if I can trust him, and this november, he will be here, at KL. I dont know what to do if he come to my hometown and see me. Do he love me? I dont know, he doesnt say I love you first.

I know its hard...

I know its hard, but I must be strong. I must be strong to overcome the hardship of my life. I miss my friend, I miss my life at University, I miss the smell of smoking people, I miss the kindness of my friend, I miss them all. But who care if I miss them, Do they miss me too? Only few friend or maybe just one friend. I realize it was my own fault that I become like this, but I realize it very long time ago but I still keep continue destroying my life. As if my life is like a burning candle that's awaits the very end of my life span. If, I mean, if something happen to me, all I want from my friend and family is, to forget me, of course my mom would never forget me, I dont want any remembrance or anything, just delete all the photo or if you guys could, your memory about me, because I dont want to be remembered, I dont want to inflect pain to your life, I dont want you guys to be regretful, dont pity the death but pity the living. :) The only thing that should not be delete is my blog ok :) You have all my forgiveness if you guys have ever done something bad at me, but please do forgive my sins towards you guys okay :]

Just sit back, relax and enjoy the money flow in...

I dont know if i can trust this FB girl about some program Infinity Downline. But after hearing many comment about this program, i think want 2 try it, hope that i can generate income more faster and most of all, halal. Yes, i know that even i'm not a good Muslim, but i still follow its regulation and law. Well, let see this week, hope that i can get at least RM500.... May Allah guide me to success