I cry

I cry last night while listen to Adele music, Someone Like You and glee version of it. I couldnt hold my feelings towards him and honestly I still love him, very deeply. I think this is my payback for what I did to many people that I know by promoting my phone number at local magazine. Maybe someone that I play and dump really love me as much as I do.. Its hard but I think with the help of Allah, I will regain my sense back. I have many important things to focus right now example my job. I send him email last night, telling him how much I still love him but the sad thing is, he already got a men, that men, do anything for him from inviting him at the airport till love him. Now I know who can love hurt so much and it still hurt right now. If someone come to me and give a lecture about my relationship with men, he/she might say firstly, Allah forbid you to have a male-male bonding, secondly you stupid enough to trust that online dating and lastly it is the law of karma, Allah punish me for what I did to many men and women out there. From now, I will never fall in love that stupid ever again, with Allah as my witness and protector, He will guide me to the right path of life, that at least I can do to make me forget about him and this unhealthy relationship. I swear in Allah names, I will never open my email that link me to him ever again. "Dear Allah, the most Merciful and most Forgiving, please help me to overcome this hardship with patient and endurance, with help from You and there is no impossible things from You, please make me forget about him and Alep, please banish their memory inside my head and also please make my life better. Amin Ya RabbiAlamin"