Very sick now... pain to breath and hard to eat.. i think this is what i deserve. but its okay now, all things will come to end eventually. :) I know its hard for my friends and family but i deserve it. Its good that I can end this pain eventually because the pain is unbearable. My dreams for having a family and raise my own child seems to be just a dream after all but alas, I have spend many happy time with my friends and family. I know I should go to my friends convo but everything changes. Now I can barely eat and even speak because the cell cancer now targeting my vocal box.... Doctor said it is best for me to just sit at my home and spend some time with my mom... I will miss my friends a lot, but still all I can do for them is pray that Allah guide them to the right path of life, because my path is not so good.
Do I have regret in my life? Many, but things will change after Im gone after all, well at least that is what i think right now. But who will miss me or remember me when im gone? Only my best friends Zam, know how my condition are... He is a great friend, and he more like a big brother to me... Well, at least I have a friend to remember my death right?
Doc said if im lucky, i still can see the year 2012 but if im not, well, you know what will happen right? After all the medic and stuff, still cannot remove all cancer cell.... Looks like my pray has been heard... :)
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